Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in anaisabmchnglng's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, April 1st, 2012
7:25 pm	Lies, Naivety and Outliers - Can I look at faces that I meet? na·ive   [nah-eev] * I beleive this is an example of a loaded word * adjective Origin: 1645–55; < French, feminine of naïf, Old French naif - natural, instinctive *ext.-rustic, born, innate* < Latin nātīvus native 1.having or showing unaffected simplicity of nature or absence of artificiality; unsophisticated; ingenuous (NOT INGEN-I-OUS, which shows genius and ingenuous as obsolete in a third point definition) 2.having or showing a lack of experience, judgment, or information; credulous(def.-willing to believe or trust too readily, especially without proper or adequate evidence; gullible.-) She's so naive she believes everything she reads. He has a very naive attitude toward politics. 3.having or marked by a simple, unaffectedly direct style reflecting little or no formal training or technique: valuable naive 19th-century American portrait paintings. 4.not having previously been the subject of a scientific experiment, as an animal. Add.1. a. having or expressing innocence and credulity; ingenuous b. ( as collective noun; preceded by the ): only the naive believed him 2. artless or unsophisticated 3. lacking developed powers of analysis, reasoning, or criticism: a naive argument 4. another word for primitive Synonyms: unsuspecting, artless, guileless,(def. (guile) -insidious* intended to entrap, stealthily treacherous or deceitful, operating or proceeding in an inconspicuous or seemingly harmless way but actually with grave effect*, cunning in attaining a goal; crafty or artful deception) duplicity, candid, open, plain. BTW, in regard to the first-third and additional second definition point and one of the listed synonyms: In our "present" day, it would be an extreme correlation to infer that because one has little or no formal training that the same person may be artless. I accept no such correlation and believe the opinions about artlessness to be a very personal perception. and what is sophisticated anyway? so·phis·ti·cat·ed   [suh-fis-ti-key-tid] * amazing! * adjective 1.(of a person, ideas, tastes, manners, etc.) altered by education, experience, etc., so as to be worldly-wise; not naive: a sophisticated young socialite; the sophisticated eye of a journalist. 2.pleasing or satisfactory to the tastes of sophisticates: sophisticated music. 3.deceptive; misleading. 4.complex or intricate, as a system, process, piece of machinery, or the like: a sophisticated electronic control system. 5.of, for, or reflecting educated taste, knowledgeable use, etc.: Many Americans are drinking more sophisticated wines now. When I was younger certain people would say to me, "you are being naive", or "that's naive". I have known from early on, if not the day I was born, that humans lie often and about almost anything. However I did not feel the need to explain to people (who did not seem to believe the same as me) that an equal possibility existed of truth telling with an attitude of ultimate confident reverence. So I would just disagree and vehemently explain, "I am not being naive!" (and think to myself, there isn't a name yet for what I am "being". and actually ~being~ does not need a descriptor it just ~is~, you know?) This belief opposed the arrogant anxious mask of confidence that is lying and the associated thoughts when enacted into life. It is ignored by one-sidedness and those who fear or dislike opposition. Though this constant(and in my life prominent) possibility of lying existed the inner unspoken knowledge told me an equal would have to be as viable in view of the balance of nature. To this I would add: my older self insight says to my younger self, it is ok that you wanted to trust people even though you knew definitively that in general there is much activity motivated by lies and deceit, in fact is is admirable. It is an admirable compassionate quality. And that now you are free to move out of the idea you may have had, that to participate you had to belong and fit into a recognizable mold of this system. A system that auto corrects your truth to fit into its pre-set dominating theme and currently accepted limited scope of functionality and necessity. Shoving and quieting that which did not match. Somehow these summarizations of experiences may have made you think or feel you were doomed to "being" somewhere on the lonely, miserable spectrum of deceit and dishonesty, seeming faraway and unconnected to the veritable and the genuine and personal reality, unable to control or influence much the way you were perceived by your world. Well now you will see much more and grow in recognition of your control and influence! Peoples brains are wired to find patterns and when they do they often get a bit stuck in them. Where then does the fascination come from to study human and other animals impulses to find different ways of doing the same "tasks"? What is it that gathers our attention so strongly about ingenuity and is often the same force that shuts down new growth and efforts to change? When did we become afraid of simple and basic differences? I would venture, it was when people somehow lost part of their ultimate functioning. So to find a pattern within a pattern and to find complex relationships... to be continued... Current Mood: creative, expressive (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, March 23rd, 2012
10:49 am	www.youtube.com (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 21st, 2012
10:44 pm	Well it's 10 in the evening. Again on a little mac, same in shape, but much different than the one I began to use about six years ago when I made the difficult choice to live in Baltimore and go straight from high school to college. In a different place now and a much different mindset. I have also grown to be much more at peace with my own constant moving and re-arranging. The endless road trip the stranger to Earth and the living out of suitcases. The motives behind such personal abandon of a comfortable life would likely take a while to tell. Though I am sure many who have had similar experiences would easily relate. And What is similar but the ability to recognize something even if by opening our mind and being astute with language and telepathy? So that one can empathize even if they have not had a very closely similar experience. It is equally important to sympathize with someone because this means we are actually sharing experience (even if it is not interpreted exactly the same) and not so alienated by wide gaps of unfounded ungrounded interrelationship(s). I have been transitioning into "odd" jobs and self-employment steadily since then. Kind of had a total melt down during the late winter and spring last year. Worked about 8 weeks last year at a "conventional" job. Harnessed a good work trade for two months. and been doing what seems to be a bare minimum in the months since then. A good part of me is feeling ready to harness a bit more now. (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 7th, 2012
3:37 pm	A Fly Day Even when you begin something new, not everything is new. Previous experiences bring themselves to the surface for recognition, encouraging you to note the differences and remember the things that YOU wanted to change. So don't refrain from seeing those things as they are now and flowing, just flow... yes I love english grammar structure complete sentences but I really like flow!! Everything that I am practicing right now is teaching me the balance between structure and flow. Practice and study, study and practice are like meditation and prayer, prayer and meditation. Then true celebration can be lived and loved joyous communion-union. Revelling in the akward Eternal Vertigo Staring through see scapes where matter flows distinctions are not spaciousness so let them go Sorry if it's too much information, but I wrote this little bit while I resting on that white porcelain throne. I heard it in my walking meditation on the way to finding a rest spot and didn't want to lose or skip it just because writing poetry on the potty is wrong or some such silly notion. Moving on, Last night was great we had re-opening and bonding time between two women I have been growing with and myself. I got a high five from the one who affirmed that they had a nightmare about me after I had vaguely said that I had an intense dream that morning. In Fact I had come to realize that my intense dream definitely had to do with the situation of all three of us. And so when I fessed up to that part she gave me a high five to show the connection. It is nice to see physical action follow a realization like icing on the cake my subconscious revealed itself to me powerfully and then I was able to let it go therefore making space for the reconnection.!! : ) Speaking of Reconnection, <-- all written on some other day in the recent previous Anyways! Here is today here and now here and fun here and with an energy just above the high heart a laugh cry shout getting ready to come out bubble up until the pressure breaks into fizz and my head and face become all weird shapes and fidgety! ? So.. back to back at the booths in Goldy's corner. Feeling so Bouncy!! Like I could just bounce off to the moon. I just said so to Thomas he had to take his ear bud out to hear me the second time. I actually told him I want to go run!! Modest Mouse Float on is playing so perfect I am writing it there in the text rather than in the mood/ music box. It feels like a moment that would be easy to die! I am a little bit growing out of my body and so light that my thought I could hardly hear over the vibration of my heart in sinc with my higher self. Spiritual terminology can be so funny hilarious in fact. that is part of the feeling I am on right now. because of finding a parody/ satire/ who-ahtever picture of some yogi kids. I am realizing that this laughter yoga really is free therapy and laughing is freeing and there is nothing to be scared about or SERIOUS! though you can feign seriousness and it's very hilarious!! There is nothing to be afraid of because even if at any point you begin to cry you will realize how closely these are related and that the evolution of anger is laughter and tears. There is no order because there is no right time for any, just the time that happens, that is, that is the movement of change. Anger is not so much movement. Laughter and tears are an effect of movement and the flow being let go!! These peices I already know. that's ok I let go how I knew them before and I am free to know them again!! Thomas came over and we talked for abit. It was real neat. sacred is eternal. (Comment on this)
Monday, December 6th, 2010
6:49 pm	Following the silver lining in search of a heart of gold Missed the poetry tonight but did improv moving poetry of the heart at the event called Wild Grace. It was full a full house that is. Tawyna gave me a ride and now I am staying at Sandra's and I gave the $8 dollars to Jodeen and now I don't have it. First was the solo journey then the "be held or be hold" Now I am talking to Dane open heartedly and wondering about an empty head is where I lay my bed and when I am well fed I have no dread seeking solitude for fortitude and gratitude and sweet servitude sandy soil has bounce and coil and recoil and broil and spin spit fin fan a flame-fire, tame a game and aspire to dance slowly sweetly build to the sky in the mind and float down to the ground no lid upon my head ode to balance and grace a saving face to stare into like the parent to the child like the adult to the inner chld a body of knowledge a bed of life a continum of manifestation not the false illusion of the mind at the raw core of body is the moving core of life and learning so learn on 12-6-2010 So <- ha Dane was noticing how I say so amongst other languauge intracacies that he notices. I am wanting to find that song that I heard on NPR by a girl about the silver this and that. Also th Get Low soundtrack. Doin pretty good in general right now other than the circadian rhythm thing. But looking at Americorps is what brought me back again to the silver lining. It's a sweet gig to get to do service and get supported not really paid for it it's more of a trade. (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 11th, 2010
11:56 pm	Runn off some of this energy but build it also. My mental energy is converting I am visualizing it now. Anyways I read part of this book from Tawyna's table about multiple orgasmic. Written with Mantak and the other Chia. It is representing to me this seemingly overwhelming theme and aspect of my life in the forefront right now regarding sexuality. Good thing to be thinking about while you're young and in general I suppose. As a huge driver, ok so I'm doing my mental masturbation right now I can feel just "talking" out loud to hear myself talk. So... the book says that masterbation is self-cultivation from the taoist way of looking at things. So I don't have a counselor and three of my family members suggested that I find one. Probably because I wasn't taking responsibility for that part of myself for a little while their. But anywho It is a somewhat pertinent question that I have decided to town so that people can't label me and shuffle me around even when I lean on them a little we are all supposed to lean not be so disconnected. Still not knowing which way to turn for employment. Only energized by the arts I give no farts a bout other work it seems only a distraction to me and is. but a vehicle yes this I know. 10 rounds of thought per minute! Jeez! I still need my work to be physical that is what I want and what my body needs! 10-28-10 Whoa seriously, this energy thing! ha I didn't even finish this entry and post it and here I am days later thinking the same thing! What do I do with all this extra energy? And noticing that I haven't made myself do yoga in many days. Still been stressing in the mind, albeit, a little less than the previous days before that but still! All this energy from my dreams needing to go straight to some art form. Devious. Talkin with beej about Seattle, why? He lived there. Went to a steel heads Game. Charged and ready to just scream The writer's block Questio is a good one I will have to think about it for a while. Anyways Today I am thinking about my crazy life situation dreams and the lovely one where Michael came up to me smiling and I hugged and kissed hime and he squeezed me (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 20th, 2010
7:32 pm	From the other day but that's ok Oh ya so much flowing right now in my wking hours needs a huge outlet of expression watching peoples faces close listeneing to everything noticing everything around in love with it all from a non-attachment. EACH smile a mile long each song the next best you've ever heard. Believe in Believe on Relieve hun Re-live the sun Retrieve what's been done. My prosetry is a flow happens so much more so much more naturally when I move when my feet are only the continuing connection between me and my world Whoa world EXPLOSION erosion of old ways makes way for new compromises but 10-20-10 Goin on a Lil' kim Miissy Elliot rampage! And getting to the Y tommorow early morning (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 14th, 2010
4:53 pm	3rdflo08 at this wondeful library in this wonderful city in my wonderful life right now growing up and becoming a kid becoming aware remaining connected and becoming connected in new ways looking at findhorn again looking at many things again with new eyes, a front side patience, a striving for understanding Waiting to here from Starbucks of all places if they are going to give up the job. I think it depnds on who the other people on the team seemed to like also. but working on campus would certainly be sweet. Seasonal meaning same days off as BSU- hmm!! Yes it was saved! And now I am loving reading the Haunting of Hill House in large print. The first couple pages are good. My goodness I am trying to be a part of a bigger community, But it is enormous. This relates to my big picture or narrow focus style. I know it is the same but I don't really feel it that much right now -eh Being a community organizer will require a distinct system of organization and some of that same is same mentality I guess This women's weeknd has turned out to be pretty silly. It started out as OMG then it was no way now it's ughh lame! Current Mood: neutralish (Comment on this)
Friday, February 27th, 2009
8:34 am	It's morning and I'm awake ! The mountains looked beautiful this morning and they did also last night as the February sunset turned them a blazing red orange across a strict line above which the white snow that lay on the high tops was twilight blue and like a shadow somewhere near the cross-over to another world. So yesterday I thought I would like to try writing typing in my live journal. oh ya I suppose she said that typing isn't as good for morning pages oh who the heck cares about being all conventional and conformist? eh more later (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 12th, 2008
11:46 pm	Aleluia Hallelujah holleluja ..and it pierced my heart, melted it "till it dropped right into the middle of the Earth. Current Mood: pensive (Comment on this)
Friday, December 14th, 2007
11:28 pm	*dream about old house evaxtuation etc *Saw the beattles movie getting into new music etc. Current Mood: tired but happy (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 13th, 2007
11:03 am	Writer's Block: Current Favorites Tell us your current favorite: book, movie, CD, video game. View 501 Answers Currently I am reading a book called Life's Long Journey. It is very good. I might actually finish it and it would be the only book I have finished in over a year. I had a dream last night, or rather it was most likekly this morning. It started out with groups of people chasing each other. I don't remeber as much about that part. Sometimes the people were on horses and the chasing was more like a game. It set the background or place for the next part of the dream. I was on a hill with several other people. We didn't exactly know what we were doing, just sort of resting from all the running around. I really got into the laying sideways on the hill (like I was going to roll down it) and then moving to another position and another. Upside down even and the hill began to have even more slope or it just seemd like it until it was almost vertical. It was very pleasent seeing how i love upside down and that kind of craziness a lot. My horoscope for this week in the BW that I read on Friday talked about the Simpson's Movie; specifically the spider-pig scene. It was telling me to try and have a lucid dream about doing the same thing and singin some kind of theme song. I don't think what I had was a lucid dream. I think it was a sort of regular one but iether way it was neat and fulfilling. If there was a theme song it was basically just the sound of nature and very quiet humming or singing of happy people. So I gotta go get some stuff done right now but maye I will come back later tonight. Current Mood: in a good way (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 8th, 2007
11:59 pm	My last post was 47 weeks ago! Whether it's in an election or just in a fun poll, what's getting your vote this week? View 374 Answers I don't know how long 47 weeks is but it is a long time! I think I have not posted anything in 2007! Anyhow Livejournal has been good to me and maybe it is a good time to pick it back up because I am not having any desire to write in a regular journal other than for what I need to get by. i.e. grocery lists to-do lists, to check-into lists, and so on... I am here in Boise now. After my stay in San Diego which was such an experience I didn't want it to end. But I suppose I was coming back to my saying, To fulfill my desire would be not to fulfill my destiny, if not just my seeming to be conditioned to moving. I fairly desperately want to set down roots in some form because I know that is what will help me do some of the big things I want to do. For instance: SCUBA certification etc. College Degree *this is a really tough one! Build or Begin an art studio and/or business I had some hermitiing/depressing time when I got here. I knew it was coming but it lasted longer than I thought it would or maybe it seemed like a long time. I am slowly coming out of it. I am very THANKFUL (since we are coming up on thanksgiving) that I have a few friends somewhere out there that still believe in me. It is helping me continue to want to help the world. And I am thankful that I get to go see my family. I wish it could be more time that I spend with them. But I also sort of wish it was in a different world because their plane seems so different than mine. Don't forget! to listen to what you cannot hear look for what cannot be seen take the time my friends, to read between the lines and you will find what you did not know you were looking for and for now, bon soir -oh I need to remind myself to go back and see Maarfur and ask him "Parlez-vous Francais?" ok gubye Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Monday, December 11th, 2006
1:20 am	I moved and I am in a numb-dumb sort of state and i wathced trainspotting for the frist time all the way through. Drug movies, good lord! I mean I liked it... kind of... ummm So I am not going to work tommorow, because I don't have a job anymore. I wonder when my brain will start working again. this might be tough. My eye isn't twitching like it does when I am stressed. But now my eyes are kind of droopy from whatever the opposite is I guess. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 26th, 2006
8:16 pm	Road trip, America's heartland, Steve Miller Band? Anyone want to help me drive to Kansas? The weekend of September 16-17, I want to go to the state fair in Kansas to see something new, go on a road trip and see the Steve Miller Band that I love! It's 20-ish hours of driving that could be turned into a weekend trip. Doesn't the possibility sound exciting? You would need some food money, maybe camp-fee, fair ticket price and the gas. My car is good but if yours is better... Seriously, anyone? OK, so on another note I think I am going to get to see a STEEL DRUM ORCHESTRA tommorow on the same pier as the Aquarium! Current Mood: suppressed stir-craziness (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 4th, 2006
12:47 pm	8-12 year olds I have been working at Minnieland private day school for a month now. I have had a little bit of time in each of the classrooms with different age groups. It is hard to tell which age group you like most. I know which children I like better. The ratio that we have to keep between the teachers and children is higher than I would prefer. But at the same time it sort of forces you to take on the challenges of having to work with a larger group (of children at that). If you don't really care you can just get by just instituting the main rules and policies. But if you are more interested in providing a good environment for the children you must put a lot of effort into trying different approaches to everything. More of my time has been with the oldest group of kids. All the age-groups/classrooms have different animal nicknames. The 8-12 year olds are the sharks, this year anyway. The babies are cute but I don't like throw-up and diapers and baby food. The toddlers are fun but their pace is slow. The fours are really great unless they are getting too rambuncious. I don't know what to really think of the 6-8 year olds. I like the sharks because for the most part they are old enough to find activities for themselves. They still need guidance! They need the adults to lead them into the next activity and things like that. If you allow free play all day or even for more than a half an hour they all start running, yelling, if not screaming, throwing, and hitting. With this kind of situation you not only have an increase of injuries but you are not in any form encouraging them to focus/concentrate. This sort of environment leads to very minimal learning and enrichment if any. There is an in-between. It doesn't have to be boot camp. You don't have to know exactly what every kid is doing every second. If you feel like you do need to know and you get frustrated because you can't or can't have very much control, you should probably re-evaluate your options and find a new way. Don't let the children see your frustration (in a negative way). You can tell them that they are frustrating you. If you show the negative feelings you get from being frustrated they will interpret it in many ways, none of which are good. They will feel like they don't understand you and/or you don't understand them. The first week my nerves were tried half to their limit. And not only from disobedient children or not knowing what to do, even having fun with kids can pressure your nerves because it is so much new stimulus that it's a little bit overwhelming. In the middle of this post I went to work. We had a water maze on the playground that was fun. I got pretty wet. After we came inside and changed clothes we had snack. Then they all did their own thing and I said we would do my Pilates activity at 3:30. They did their own activities and as long as it was going well I let it go. Once it started to break up at 3:45, I told them to get ready and moved the stuff and they all came when we started getting the mats out. They weren't perfectly silent or still, and I didn't stop a hundred times and wait until they were perfectly quiet because they would lose interest and focus. The teacher just has to work at re-focusing them. But for 45! minutes they listened to the history and practiced the stretching exercises. and after I finished they rolled themselves up in the mats to make fun with the stretch named the roll-up. Maybe I will bring in some fruit roll ups for next weeks session. I wish I had a picture of some kids to put in here! I'll work on it! Current Mood: ready to do something (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 2nd, 2006
5:03 pm	Oh, POOP! I have found my self saying POOP instead of oh, lord or oh, geez or whatever else I say with "oh" before it. I think my mom did that for a while, yes, I think she was the one that got me sayin poop in such a manner, because I normally would say that word in jestful conversation very loud and drawn out sorta like POOO oooooooooooop, it would sort of smack you in the face at the beggining and then just sit in your face while it continued the long journey to its end. It's really rather odd to say poop in a non-ridiculous manner, but I have been doing it and then sometimes I laugh after I say it. I moved form a house with three pets to a house with one, wait there are three, but the Iguana doesn't count for what I am talking about and I barely notice the little pomeranian that hides all the time. There is less hair here by far and no bathroom accidents. No, this cat peed on my stuff purpose ! First the little he/she peed on my only running shoes and then while I was sitting there in the room walked over and peed on my bookbag!!!!! There really should have been somenone else there I felt like I was going to kill that cat. I can almost feel for those people that drop their pets of a couple miles down the road. They do it so they won't kill them. They should drop them off at an adoption agency but there are so many and if it got adopted againg the next person would probably drop it off too. I think I don't like cats or dogs anymore. It's kinda sad, maybe I just need some time away from them. The next pet I will get will be a snake, a bird, fish, anything but an animal that is allowed to run around my house and piss me off. I am not sure how many people that work with wild animals have pets. Im sure I am going to be one that has fish if anything. .....As per what seems to have become an annual tradition, I have moved all my things to a new place. It feels like I did it on a whim and the logistics of actually moving were not pretty. But there are reasons I did this and maybe when I am older and really have a home it will be glorious. I am losing some good things from this change but also some bad things........ as Lisa put the quintessential trade-off so far it is actually going very well, obviously this is just the beginning but I have some good peace right now Current Mood: vacation and B-day= good (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 11th, 2006
11:48 pm	I found a person to practice french with and learn Italien from on Myspace so it's not all bad, plus.... he's HOT ! I am going to PA with Amber tommorow. I had fun with Kaidye and Trea and his friends tonight! I am still trying to figure out whether or not to stay here. Luke said I should stay in B-more because of all these ammenities..... but it has to be my choice and I have looked at most of the ups and downs.... I guess I should right them out like always! NEW RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOODD!!!! Current Mood: psyched (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 30th, 2006
11:14 pm	Why I am going back to Idaho When I have things I want to write in a journal, I should just write them. But so many times the pressure of other things gives me the feeling that I don't have time for it. Then I begin to think that I solved my own question or whatever I was going to write wasn't that important anyway. What a bummer to tell yourself "It's not worth it." That kind of thing is one that can get you started into or keep you always on the edge of a sour mood. The few months after I got here I was at least feeling melancholy. Now it is more of a half-full yearning. Maybe this is because I am "growing up", seeing more of the real world or gaining new perspectives on it. I want to go to Idaho and I don't think it isn't possible to feel this same way there, I just feel more like it is possible to do better there. It is what I can do right ow to change my world. When is it your world and when is it the world? I believe that you live in your own world and can change it, but in another respect I believe that we live together in this world, or universe. They are two different planes that exist at once. One is all we are. We all come/came from the same (whatever, place, matter, idea, thing). I want to affect change in the world, but how can I do that without first changing my world to what I want it to be. People wanting to change the world is them wanting to make it how they want. What the world ends up is the combination of what people want or want changed if they do something about it. I am going to change my world and get to my next "heven"/plane of existence as in Jonathan Livingston Seagull *side-note the word heven is weird! I just looked up Jonathan-LS to see mostly how it was spelled. Google told me how it is spelled but I decided to look at the Wikipedia entry. I read it and sequentially read a very interesting entry on Christian-anarchism. Life is about education. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, April 24th, 2006
2:27 am	Something like... I still can sit for an indiscriminant amount of time talking to a turtle, in the marina! Yes! or watching the grass grow, as they say. That characteristic relates to what I am about to write my LJ post about. Some people have the dream of achieving something so huge. They want to change the world; be remembered famously like Einstein, but they live their life like they have no time for the people around them. And I believe it is the people around you who help you achieve your goals. OR No one has time anymore. They "grow up" and think they are running out of time. In a mortalistic sense they are. People who want to: do something so huge, have a lasting impact on the world, be remembered/recognized for their achievements, don't have time for the people around them. The way I see it though the people around you are the ones who help you achieve. ...whichever way says it better, They come from the same feeling and thoughts/ideas in me. I still can't keep up with what everyone wants me to do. The recurring feeling of back and forth . The saying," If you want something done, you have to do it yourself", is not as good here as me saying, "To do something or anything, you have to want it yourself" I guess the first quote fits better, connected with an "and", after the second one. Maybe people don't like what I want; what can I do? Current Mood: ooiiyyy (Comment on this)